tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8825846027612679867.post3292903950011822812..comments2023-10-29T01:48:28.744-07:00Comments on anchor and bird: advice to new mothersMiriam Hermhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14327244409212416119noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8825846027612679867.post-23669387839705908312008-06-20T08:59:00.000-07:002008-06-20T08:59:00.000-07:00I actually subscribe (gasp!) to Parents magazine, ...I actually subscribe (gasp!) to Parents magazine, mostly for the section on the funny things kids say and for the crafts and recipes, which promptly get torn out and put in a folder never to be seen again. I usually find the articles to be somewhat informative, but then again I always keep in mind that I really know what's best for my kids and what is realistic. I always chuckle to myself when I read the advice stuff, especially when they're talking about tantrums or something of that nature and the advice is to speak calmly and be reasonable. Riiiiiigghhttt. That's realistic. Other parenting magazines I've read have all been like you've described. They're shallow and unhelpful. At least Parents tries to be fair and balanced most of the time. Anywho...<BR/><BR/>The best advice I give out is to never get comfortable because kids, especially babies, change all the time. You think you've got them figured out and the next thing you know it's like they've had a personality transplant. <BR/><BR/>And, I would second (or third or fourth) the trusting yourself as a parent. And kid's don't break very easily. I remember being so terrified with my first about his eating when he was a baby, perhaps it's because the formula can says "not following these direction exactly will cause harm to your baby". I was always worried he'd implode if the bottle didn't get mixed just right. Guess, what? He didn't. Babies are tough. <BR/><BR/>The best advice I got was to make sure my kids know I love them every day, multiple times. There are going to be days, even weeks, when everyone is grumpy and getting on each others nerves. Giving the babes a hug or a kiss or something helps you to surface above the muck and helps them to feel safe even if things are a bit rough.Annie Jarmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14248339527698224747noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8825846027612679867.post-79829821859311481182008-06-20T00:04:00.000-07:002008-06-20T00:04:00.000-07:00Keep up the good work, moms :)Keep up the good work, moms :)Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12035058495052433747noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8825846027612679867.post-76876024856977945052008-06-20T00:02:00.000-07:002008-06-20T00:02:00.000-07:00I have no advice for mothers, obviously, but I'm a...I have no advice for mothers, obviously, but I'm amazed at everything written in your post and in response to your post. I read a parenting magazine at my sister's once and all I remember is that movie stars get a c-section and a tummy tuck at the same time. (You know, useful knowledge.) So that's why I think you should submit your posts to Parenting Magazine instead. I know, the irony . . . but there's something they're all missing.Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12035058495052433747noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8825846027612679867.post-34182129658693119422008-06-19T20:46:00.000-07:002008-06-19T20:46:00.000-07:00The best advice I got was to trust myself. I have ...The best advice I got was to trust myself. I have to admit that at fist I had little faith in myself to begin with so there wasn't much to trust. I remember thinking, "mother's intution, when do you get that?" Well, it comes- I promise. And there really are times that only you know what to do. That is a great feeling- to know that being the mom actually comes with knowledge.Bughttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10304474029103376136noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8825846027612679867.post-90327211369741272442008-06-19T11:20:00.000-07:002008-06-19T11:20:00.000-07:00Yes, yes, yes!!! I totally agree with Liz when she...Yes, yes, yes!!! I totally agree with Liz when she says to follow your intuition. Your baby is a completely new individual, and you are the closest person to that new individual. No one knows you or your baby better. And no newborn fits into any pattern written in a book.<BR/><BR/>When I was pregnant with Declan someone asked me if I was scared of labor. Being the historian I am, I answered that women have been giving birth in far less pleasant circumstances for thousands of years, and we're still here. It has to end sometime, usually with a baby, so why stress? Of course, for me it ended with a c-section, but I still got a baby out of it.<BR/><BR/>And for second time new moms, my advice is "This, too, shall pass." Getting used to having two small unreasonable people to handle is hard. It's frenetic and hair-raising at times. But you get used to it and you find your rhythm and it's great.redstarmamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14172813865322870659noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8825846027612679867.post-68509362368462928272008-06-19T10:09:00.000-07:002008-06-19T10:09:00.000-07:00Amen! Such a good post. My cousin-in-law was jus...Amen! Such a good post. My cousin-in-law was just terribly harassed by her pediatrician. The old fart was telling her things mother should make decisions about and she was NOT asking his opinion. Anyway we gave her all the advice you just wrote about. It is so true that you need to figure out what works for you and your wee one and tell everyone else to shut it.<BR/><BR/>Hopefully this next one will be much more relaxing for you ;)Amber Mariehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01151936675478144797noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8825846027612679867.post-27561653055354476972008-06-19T08:58:00.000-07:002008-06-19T08:58:00.000-07:00Oh, man, this could take a while! :) Just kidding...Oh, man, this could take a while! :) Just kidding. But I do have a very strong opinion with regard to infant training books (i.e. The Baby Whisperer, Baby Wise, Happiest Baby on the Block, etc.). When I had Soren, I devoured these books and tried religiously to follow their advice. Mostly with sleep training. Soren was not a good sleeper. Well, he was a great sleeper, but he was not good at falling asleep on his own. So, I tried picking him up, and putting him down, picking him up and putting him down. Over and over and over. I tried rocking him. I tried changing his feeding schedule to try to better facilitate sleeping. Yadda yadda yadda. And what do I know now after that hellish four/five month period? I HATE those books. I think the only thing they accomplish is to create an anxiety-ridden mom who learns only to stifle her intuition and instead bow to the "expertise" of a stranger. Creating self-doubt in a mother isn't a good solution, people.<BR/><BR/>When Anders was born, I vowed to hold him and cuddle with him and follow my heart. We still had hard times occasionally, but nothing like the struggle I experienced with Soren. And I think Anders came out on top for knowing that his mother was more interested in caring for his needs than following a four-point chart designed by who-knows-who claiming to have such-and-such a title.<BR/><BR/>My advice: Don't read the gazillion books on parenting and infant training. Just follow your mother's intuition that you've been blessed with. Heavenly Father is your best friend, not Tracy Hogg.Lizhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10489746595325748833noreply@blogger.com