blogcation

staycation. that's like the word of the week! i can't tell you how many times that word and i have done that awkward bump-into-each-other-and-try-to-move-out-of-the-way-by-going-the-exact-same-place-so-we-bump-into-each-other-again-and-again-and-again thing.

do you know what i mean?

anyway, i think i'll have one. a staycation, that is. although, this won't really be a staycation, more like a blogcation. i think i need one. things need to be figured out, places organized, naps taken (pleasepleasepleaseplease!) and creative juices need to run wild again.

staycation

a new term was coined this summer. staycation. it's where you vacation in your home. yes, that's right. and yes, it really is as exciting and exotic as it seems. this is what my family decided to do this year because we are really as exciting and exotic as we seem. and i loved it. i loved that i didn't have to pay for anything, i didn't have to pack anything, i didn't have to deal with cranky children. other than the fact that i was still in charge of keeping my own house clean, it was a perfect vacation (i mean, staycation) spot.

favorite: chinatown where we ate real chinese food. and ava insisted on eating with her chopsticks because she was sitting by grandpa and he was eating with his chopsticks. this meant that she picked up the food she wanted to eat with her fingers, placed it between her chopsticks and held them tightly closed in her fist where she ate her food as though it were some sort of popsicle.

amanda was my biggest help and she helped me handle hurricane harbor single-parently. this wouldn't have been as big a deal if ava hadn't taken one look at the large splashes the kid zone was making and decided that looked awful. no, not awful. horrible. no good. disgusting. terrifying. i don't know if there are enough words to describe how she felt about the mild looking pirate ship stranded in the middle of 12 inches of chlorinated and filtered water. seth, of course, loved it. amanda (who is short) and i (who is tall) took ava and seth in the lazy rive (or whatever they call it) and amanda held seth and i held ava. this worked out perfectly. because amanda is short she was holding seth close to the water. and he was happy as a clam, splashing and sticking his face in the water, kicking his legs and squealing. because i am tall, ava was hardly in the water. her toes trailed. and that was, at times, too much and she attempted to climb me and wrap her legs around my head.

more mammoth

thse are my in-laws, the whole of them. these are the people ryan came from and this is us in mammoth. it is hard taking pictures of a big group like this. there were so many people! and they didn't know where where to stand or what to wear and they all had different ideas and places they wanted to go. sometimes it was just the lot of us, standing on the side of the road. some of us were holding children, some of us chairs, some of us sunglasses and sweaters and blankets and some us very small princess dresses. and we all stood there and talked about the photoshoot at the top of our lungs until one of us would stand a little taller and shout, "ENOUGH! we're going _______ and we're doing ______!!" and then all would be quiet and we'd move over to where the loudest family member had told us to move.

i appreciate these in-laws. in this family, you take care of each other. you work hard. and you laugh. those in-laws, let me tell you, are hilarious. i am so grateful to know them, so grateful for their hugs and their jokes.

101

happy birthday, boy child

a year ago today i was sitting on a hospital bed trying to breathe through pitocin-induced contractions that wracked my body with an ache that was so deep i couldn't actually breathe through it. we were trying everything--except the epidural. my mom was massaging my head and then brushing the hair from my face and ryan was pushing against my knees and then pushing against the small of my back and suggesting after almost every contraction a walk--that helped with ava, right? finally i gave in and got the epidural, cursing my doctor's name with every breath. with ava everything had been natural and i'd really loved it. i'd loved the experience of feeling myself accomplish something difficult and here i was with seth, who had been induced and feeling so frustrated because i knew what my body could do and it wasn't doing it. but that epidural was the best thing ever. everything got quiet when i couldn't feel the contractions anymore and i had time to mentally prepare for the pushing (pushing is particularly hard for me because this is the part that scares me the most) and i had time to get rid of all the anger and think of the baby i'd been carrying those past months. and ryan gave me a blessing, which helped also. i have a feeling this is the only baby i'll be able to prepare for in this way since i plan on never being induced again. so when seth was born, i was ready for him. i wanted to hold him, i helped lift him to my chest, i rubbed the vernix into his skin, i talked to him. it was such a special moment, such a sweet moment to soak in. i remember thinking he was the most beautiful thing in the world (and then i looked back on those pictures and i was surprised to see how utterly terrifying he looked). so, it's been a year. i know it's flown by for other people because they ask me if seth is six months old and i have to inform them that no, it's already been a year. no one has ever appreciated me like seth does. he holds me, he misses me, he seeks after my company, he needs me, he wants to be with me at all times. and i want to love every little minute of it. even when all he wants is to scream and cry in my arms and i am exhausted from him flopping around. because do you know what the depressing thing about sons is? they go away forever. girls don't really go away forever, they just get married. but they still need you, they still want you, they still seek after your company as the main woman in their life. sons replace you with wives. and the mothers have to let them do it. so i know that seth is only going to be mine as long as he doesn't have a wife. and, judging by how fast this year has flown, i'm guessing that time is going to come all too soon. oh, how i will miss him. and oh, how i love him. happy birthday, boy child. thanks for coming.

love

i mentioned my thing with babies, and of course, after seeing this baby, i was fighting my urge the entire time. do you see those eyes? DO YOU SEE THOSE EYES?? good heavens. those eyes. and, actually, his hair. and his cheekss! oh! his cheeks! delicious baby.

i've learned a few things about photography this year. one of those things is the "feeling" of the subjects spill out of the picture and into the hearts of the people who look at them. so if a family is in love, i don't really have to do much, i just take the picture and do some editing. and then everyone who looks at it has a "love experience". i think. i do, anyway.

this family was one of the easiest shoots i've ever done because this family just loves each other so well. and watching them all help one another, smile at one another, play together and lovingly touch one another warmed my heart.

and now, i've decided that i'm going to be more loving like them. and also, that i love that baby.

brand new baby

brand new baby is the best. i say that like it's something you can buy in a store and eat after a long day and your children are finally in bed and then you can climb into bed with your blankee and an episode of arrested development and a spoon and just savor it all. . . but that would be ice cream. or dibs. have you tried dibs? try them. brand new babies are to humans what dibs are to ice cream.

so this brand new baby comes over to my house and all i want to do is send the rest of his family away (even though they are cute, too) and curl up in bed with him and just eat him like a dib. so i picked him and started back toward my room only to discover that his family was coming too. because they knew a good thing when they saw one and they weren't about to let me go in the bedroom and savor the dib without them.

really it was rather unfair because they can have him whenever they want and i'm stuck here with an enormous former dib and a toddler (no frozen dessert comparison avaible for her at this time). i ate my dib. i want theirs.

so i took pictures of him instead. and now, late at night when my little motherly heart starts feeling the craving for brand new baby, i pull these pictures out and drool.