more on having two children

they're both napping right now, and i'm trying to get a few things done in that small amount of time. obviously, i'm not doing a very good job. instead of sitting here typing, i should be sorting through the clothes piled on the couch. or cleaning out the cupboard where i store all of my project stuff.

but i'm not. instead i'm going through pictures of my kids and thinking about what it means to be a mother and how i can do a better job.

my goal this week: play more with my children.

i don't play with them enough. and i was thinking about that as i was going through the pictures today, that these little babies were growing old and moving outside of my embrace.

seth is too big for his 0-3 month clothing. i'm dragging my feet about pulling them all out, folding them up and storing them away in a big plastic container in the garage. because do you know what that means? it means baby seth and not newborn seth.

i call him "friend". because he is. he hangs out with me, his head in my elbow, his legs trailing like an unfinished sentence across my lap. more and more of his little body touches the outside world when i hold him tight. how can this be? i was just posing for the camera in my wheelchair, waiting for the hospital volunteer to steer me to my car with my brand new pointed baby in my arms.

seth is an industrious leg kicker. he does so with vigor when i put him down. and ava takes that opportunity to "play" with him. this usually means she "gently" lays down next to him, where half of his body is trapped under hers and she's giggling and writhing about as his little fists bump her chin. "tickles!" she laughs, wiggling some more and accidentaly smacking the side of seth's head. he barely notices. it's because he is younger and this is not the first time.

"sing a song," she commands, her hand wrapped around his entire forearm, ready to wave it in the air in time to the song i choose to sing. before i open my mouth, i think about how she asked me to do something with a sentence. seeing me hesitate, ava prompts, "please."

music is ava's favorite. more than princesses, i'd wager. we have regular dance parties, we sing songs constantly and when she is playing by herself i hear her sing.

i want to capture these moments in jars and sleep with them by my pillow.