check out my kid's head

ouch

it looked better (or worse) two days ago, when he fell. and boy, did he fall.

i'm not their nanny, i'm their mother

i'm talking to a man who one day may hire me for some writing. he says, "so, miriam! what do you do now? are you in school? do you work?"

"no," I answer, "i'm a mother."

he looks shocked. "a mother?" he repeats. "really! how interesting!"

"yeah, i have a three-year-old and a one-year-old at home," i say, with a smile.

his eyes travel to my ring finger where my wedding band is. "oh," he says, "you must be older than you look. i thought you were eighteen."

okay, i know i look young (as does ryan. i think he finally looks like he might be in his twenties now. when ava was first born, i think people suspected him to be a really tall fourteen-year-old) but eighteen? really? should i start wearing some make up maybe?

friday favorite no. 1

one of my favorite bloggers, erica, does a mod podge monday every week where she lists her favorite finds. since she started doing that, i started keeping track of my favorite things from my "window" shopping excursions  online and now, for all of your viewing pleasure, i'm going to start listing them on my blog fridays as a "friday favorites" feature. fun!

1.  this stamp. you can buy a self-inking or a hand stamp. isn't that calligraphy so aesthetically pleasing? the visions i have when i see this cute stamp include sweet little handwritten notes and mittens. i don't know why mittens, but somehow, when i envision myself walking down to mailbox to mail off a letter, i'm wearing a really cute coat with mittens. note this: i have only lived in a place where you could wear mittens without looking like a freak for two years. and i did not own mittens once. obviously, this is a shame.

2. these quilts from pottery barn. lucky, lucky me, my very good friend vanessa works at pottery barn and she gives me her discount. i just might have to find a new bedspread. because seriously? the one we have is so sad i feel cranky every time i climb into bed. and it is so hard to find decent looking bedding that isn't cheap, lame or ugly.

3. wouldn't these be super cute in my little mouse's hair? you can find them here.

4. this is lazercut silhouette makes me so happy. the "beez neez"? classic.

5. you've heard about buddha at this point, i'm sure. and i'd love to upgrade his lame-o grocery store purchased collar to a cute homemade collar from etsy. i love this fabric, but i doubt buddha would. i mean, he is a b boy, after all. he probably wants something a little more "street".

little white lies

me: so, ava, tell me what you did yesterday while i was gone!

ava: we went to the park and played. then it got dark! and daddy and sethy went home. and i stayed.

ryan: yeah. i let ava walk home from the park. by herself. in the dark. i was like, "come home when you're ready".

ava: yeah. so i did. all by myself.


this is why i'm afraid to let her go to a class by herself. because one time? she told her teacher that "my mom is so mad at my dad but she still loves him".

i can foresee so much embarrassment in my near future.

a long, awkward pause

so teenagers.

its a whole other ballgame with that lot. a ballgame that i've suddenly been plunked right into-- the middle of the seventh inning stretch (that is, if this game is baseball. i have yet to figure that part out. maybe it's just half time? making it football?). i became aware of this new ballgame while trying to understand what kevin's grades might be in school. i thought i just might ask him and then i'd know. all of your mothers of teenagers out there? are you laughing hysterically? can you even read this through your tears? can you believe the amount of innocence i showed? do i have another thing coming or what?

yeah, i know.

something i notice kevin does when he's not all that comfortable with the conversation topic (this is a conversation topic that is about anything serious or responsible): he flops. it's like he's a wet noodle. one minute he's sitting upright and we're all laughing and having a great time, the next he's on the floor and we have to keep checking for a pulse.

"so kevin, what are your grades?" i ask.

flop. pause. finally, "uuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhh. . .i don't know."

"okay, how many classes are you taking?" i ask.

pause. "uuuuuuhhhhhhh. . ." i detect a slight motion underneath his left eye. "uuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh. . .six?"

"how many A's?"

pause. another pause. ANOTHER PAUSE. "none."

"well, that wasn't so hard."

kevin opens his eyes and lifts his head to look at me, "huh?" he asks. i realize he's only talking to me now because i've deviated from the original topic and he's hopeful that we can start talking about twilight or mountain biking or kanye west. well, he's wrong. i remember exactly what we were just talking about and not only that, i'm going to learn from my mistakes. never again will i point out how ridiculous he's being until after the fact.

"never mind. how many B's?"

flop. pause. "uuuuhhhhhhhh. . .one."

"okay good! how many C's?"

i'll spare you the rest of the conversation. just know that it involved long pauses and a lot of flopping.

what am i to do with this kid?

carol. if this were a piece of lyrical poetry, i'd call it "ode to carol"

last tuesday i went to dinner with my friend carol.

carol is wonderful for several reasons, mostly because she is just so caroly. for example, one time ryan was at trader joe's and he was about to drive away when he saw carol and she was pushing a cart. she sort of took a running start and then she jumped on the back of the cart and she rode it all the way across the street. and he came home and told me and i laughed really hard and said, 'oh! that's so carol! that's so carol!" and then i made a mental note to email her so we could go out to dinner IMMEDIATELY but i forgot and GUESS WHAT? carol emailed me the next day to ask if we could go out to dinner.

THAT, my friends, is CAROL.

so tuesday, we're having dinner at this little cafe that is one of the only two places to eat in the city i live in that is not a chain and i am saying to myself, "do not hoard the conversation, do not hoard the conversation, do not hoard the conversation." because my friend carol? she tends to listen and i me? i tend to talk. and even though i would appreciate the opportunity to practice listening, i just talk. and talk. and talk. all over carol.

i met carol at college. we were in an english class where i talked the whole time and everyone else (including the professor) listened. the professor, a man who i call by his first name, which is hart, who forever changed my life, thought that carol and i were an unlikely duo. and i was offended. but then i thought about it, and by thought about it, i probably mean talked for a really long time to someone who didn't even know who carol was, and i thought about how carol is such a good listener and not only that, she smiles really nicely while listening and laughs at all the right places, and suddenly, our friendship made sense.

this is what i thought about when i told carol (with much animation) all about my life and begged her to tell me the secrets to raising great kids (have i mentioned that carol is a mom to kids who are really cool?) and she thought for a minute and then said, "i think you're doing a great job."

to carol: had i picture of you, i'd stick it up here (you're probably grateful right now that i don't), but since i don't, this is my "yay carol!" post. thank you for dinner. thanks for wandering into a room of perfect strangers with guitars (and a flute!) with me and thanks for agreeing to do it again sometime. also? as i insisted you not get out of the car so i could tell you one more story and you politely stayed and listened? thank you for that also.

weekly guy

have i mentioned that this boy child has learned the word "no"?