for auld lange syne, my dear

billy preston and aretha franklin. this is the greatest.

i think i was supposed to be born in the fifties.


happy new year!

how i spent my christmas morning

this is the picture we stuck on our holiday card. do you see us all looking at the camera? do you see that? isn't it amazing? i nearly hugged the gentleman who took the picture. granted, it's at the end of a hike and seth's in his pajamas (not lazy mothering, it was cold out and his pajamas are his warmest article of clothing. although you can blame lazy mothering if you'd like) and ava looks unpleasant. but lately, she's almost always unpleasant in pictures. my camera has ruined so much for her. if she keeps this up, her prom pictures are going to be horrific.

christmas was spent at home this year. by ourselves. both sad and happy, i'd say. i missed my brother's excitement. i think that ava needed their enthusiasm and experience to help her get into the groove of things. because the first five minutes she stared at the tent santa brought her with a look of suspicion. had my brother's been there she would have leapt headfirst into the tent and started pushing everyone else out. so eventually, she got it (i think when i pointed out that santa had given her a candy cane). but then all she wanted was the candy cane and i was dying to get her to open a present. so i took the candy cane away and appeased her tears and shouts of protest with a present. that's right, i'm a mean mommy. our house after the meager amount of christmas spirit we'd mustered had passed:



and of course, a shot of the tent:


now that ava "gets it", she loves the tent. way to buy a present, santa. and of course, a stocking picture (note the candy cane):

and seth, who mostly had presents opened for him and when presented with his presents, gamely gave them a few swats before settling back down (naked) with his daddy:

four years exactly

seriously? we make this look easy.

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for unto us a son is given

internet, i wish you a merry christmas!

warms my heart

this.


also, this.

but mostly the first one. it's about time someone represented the "uncool" kids.

wanted

swm seeks household that doesn't include this:enjoys good conversation, great food and long walks. will tolerate anything that doesn't shriek, dance and insist that my every move is an attempt to tickle her. please.

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funniest thing i've seen involving dead fish

weekly mouse

crept in to see if she was sleeping and saw this. she looks like her baby self. i was so taken by her, i unhinged my jaw and swallowed her whole. and internet, she was mighty tasty!

weekly guy

the kid won't smile if a camera is in his face. i've tried everything. finally i promised that his daddy was going to take him to the races and even let him place a bet on his favorite horse, strawberry lemonade with jim. he was all smiles after that. there's something about gambling and babies. . .

Bookies 2008

Best All-Encompassing Novel:

Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy. tolstoy is a genius when it comes to writing. so much of his book flew right past me because my understanding was so limited. i wish so much i'd taken a russian literature course in college. but i'd listened to stereotype and thought russian literature was boring and long. i'd love to listen to intelligent people discuss this book.

Best NonFiction:

Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin. i am fascinated by the middle east and this was such a unique and peaceful perspective. i really appreciated it.

Expanded My World:

The Serpent and the Rainbow; a Harvard Scientist’s Astonishing Journey into the Secret Societies of Haitian Voodoo, Zombies and Magic. So Interesting (with a capital I).

Most Well-Written:

Love Poems to God by Rainer Maria Rilke. his words make me fall in love.

Most Romantic Read:

Water For Elephants by Sara Gruen. it was indeed, romantic. and it involved animals (including an elephant) and circus freaks. how do you go wrong with that?

Best Read-It-Quick Pick:

Bel Canto by Anne Patchett. read it in a day. loved every bit of it. was sad when it was over.

The Year’s Least Favorite:

East of Eden by John Steinbeck. not my favorite, but well written.

Most Inspiring:

a poem by a guy named john peter cabaniss from my review days (spring semester). three lines and he made me want to cry. genius.

the black's song is long, slow, and deep

"what have you done with my people?"

"what have we done with ourselves?"

Best Re-Read:

To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee. This time around, that book was funnier than I remembered it being.

phamily photos

there is no such thing as all four of us being in the same frame and looking good. no such thing. there is also no such thing as two of us being in a picture together and looking good (that's how bad we are).

this december month has got me doing all sorts of preparations for the holidays. this includes christmas cards. which makes me think: i need to include a picture! so i've been trying to take one. and trying. and trying. this even inlcuded me wandering the perimeter of my parent's newly remodeled home and trying all the doors and windows until i found one and we took one inside the room that will soon be the computer/office room. those pictures were terrible. plus, i looked fat (i did. i know because i told my mother this and she said, "you do not!" then i showed her and she didn't say anything. this did not offend me. this is an example of why i love her). i looked fat because i was using a box the remodelors left behind and my camera and the timer button. i would push the button, urge ava to use her pretty smile and not her creepy scrunchy smile and then run to sit next to ryan and not lean forward. because ryan has a small head and i might have a big head and when i sit next to him and lean forward in pictures his head looks teeny-tiny and i look, well, fat.

i refuse to not include the family photo because i hate it when people don't include theirs. i want to see everyone! especially if they've had a baby. and i really want people to include cheesy, badly-written bragging letters that make other people's eyes glaze over. i eat those up. and i laugh. sometimes i call ryan to read them out loud to him. his eyes glaze over when i do this so i can't do it when he's driving in the car.

so, does anyone have any suggestions or stories of a similar thread which will make me feel better? also, i will get a cute family picture if it kills me. or if i just have to tie ava's hands down so she stops wiggling and saying, "seth's tickling me!" because he is not.

59

a forgotten toy

siblinghood

i love the fact that ava adores seth, but she is just way too violent. i love the fact that she wants to pay attention to him, but geez! she's going to scar him for life with her devotion. she grabs at his face, pats (hits) him on the head, lays her body across his entire body, squeezes his cheeks, shrieks in his ear. . .

"ava, be careful!" i say (repeatedly), "seth is just a baby!"

"but mom," ava says, louder than necessary, "ava's a baby TOO!!"

58

morro bay, thanksgiving 2008

how to have some quality time with a newborn

peaceful

i leave them alone for two seconds and this is what i come back to see. ava is singing seth the good morning song.

when pregnant with ava i thought, am i really going to love this little girl? and i did. a lot. when pregnant with seth i thought, how could i possibly have enough love for another baby? and i did. because ava is my baby. and seth is my baby. and i love them separately instead of altogether. sort of like how i love peppermint bark and the beach separately.

weekly guy

weekly mouse

at the tidepools. ava is holding what she thinks is a jellyfish. really, i have no idea what it is. i only let her touch it because my brother touched it first and didn't die.

happy thanksgiving!

we went to san luis obispo, where my dad's family is. it is beautiful there. so beautiful.

i am grateful for extended family, their delicious food and the things i remember when i am with them. and i'm grateful for hernan, an honorary family member and photographing buddy.

i'm grateful for a day spent completely outdoors. i'm grateful for naps in the car, for barefeet and for trees. it's been too long since ryan and i hiked around some trees. i'm also grateful for animals. and cameras. and our future that someday will not involve nap schedules.

yes, that is my blankee. and yes, she stole it. and yes, seth is sleeping on the floor of the car. he wanted to be there, he told us.

and, of course, what would a gratitude post be without a picture of these fantastic folks?

excuse us, it's impossible for us to take a good picture. (i'm talking to you, small child with the finger in her mouth! seriously?)

what a fantastic holiday! when's the next one?

57

thanksgiving teaser

who was there:

where we went:

how we felt about it: