a resolution

over the holidays, i heard about a couple that i love very much and their problems in trying to conceive. it made me think about how my own two pregnancies went (fairly well) and how much i whined and moped about them. and now that i have these two little children consuming all of my time, smacking their lips and demanding seconds, i realize something:

ava and seth are gifts. and i am an ungrateful wretch by begrudgingly caring for them. it is about time i screwed my courage to the sticking point and did a better job around here. i am going to change my attitude.

i've been thinking about what ryan always says, "blah, blah, something about how it's my problem and no one else's and i'm the only one who has the power to change it." (boys have the most awful habit of giving advice when they should just be listening and perhaps giving you a foot rub and also, ryan says it a lot nicer than that) the reason i hate that little tidbit of advice is because that's hard to do. and i'd rather there be another solution. for example, get a maid. for free. and a mother's helper that pops up only when i need her (like when ava's crying for food and i'm feeding seth or when both children are sleeping and i could use the time to go exercise). do you see the incredible job i can do with whining even when i'm in the middle of a resolution to not whine anymore? i can out-whine and out-procrastinate the best of them. i'm so amazing, it's almost a shame to try and tame these awful habits.

back to the original point: this is a new year and i'm going to work hard to be grateful for the gift of my children and not text message ryan with threats of dropping them off at the back door of the salvation army. besides, i might regret that move when i go to snuggle with something and there's nothing to snuggle with.