ladies and genteleman, may i introduce you to. . .

the wrath of a 3-year-old. you parents of children who are wide eyed in amazement at the wrath of your 2-year-old? SIT DOWN. seriously. YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

so we go to a local pizza place to have some fun monday family time and when we have to go, ava freaks. like, she's really mad. the most amazing part of this story, however, is the fact that once we got home, she was still mad. as i went to open her door she fiercely reached over and held it shut saying through clenched teeth, "i'm. not. getting. out."

and i just stood there, trying to figure out what was going on. then i threatened to remove her myself. then i carried out my threat and she pedaled her legs madly in the air (as if that would stop me!). and then, once in the house, she stayed mad. perhaps there are parents out there who are laughing at my innocence, but let me tell you, she's never acted like this in her life. only a week ago i would have described her as easy going. but now? i don't even know where to begin! when asked to describe the girl i simply say, "she has blonde hair and blue eyes." because that, at least, is true no matter what is happening.

naturally, once indoors, ryan and i documented the moment with camera. because when you're child is holding a grudge toward you for the first time, what else are you supposed to do?

kids these days, i tell you what. . .

the pictures that followed or, our trip in pictures with subtitles

on our way up, we stopped in las vegas, where our job was clearly cut out for us by pollo, who found an empty liquor bottle and did the first thing that came to his mind: act drunk. with glee. the boys, in the bellagio. from left to right: azeem, kevin, pollo (arul) and christian outside the temple little mouse at my aunt's house. my aunt is about to become a grandmother for the first time and has collected the most wonderful toys for a little granddaughter over the years. ava was in heaven. grandma and grandpa's house. ava was surprisingly kind to her eager great-grandparents. she climbed right up into their laps and told them all about herself. as i was putting her to bed she told me, "mom, i really love grandma and grandpa." proof that seth was there, eyeing heavily the bowl of m&ms that grandma left on the coffee table. what i want to know is this, how does he even know what m&ms are anyway? why do these children come with built-in sugar sensors? on the way home. utah is one of the most beautiful places i've ever seen. and autumn is one of its best seasons. i'm so glad we were there. two of these were taken as the sun rose on our ride home. do you see the moon? gorgeous. my favorite picture of the trip:

a general conference rundown

i hate traveling with small children. i really do. so when the spanish branch got all of the stake's tickets to general conference, i was cringing inside. i mean, think about it: a super fast weekend which includes A TON OF DRIVING, two small children, an hour time difference (which shouldn't matter but, oh, it so does), rushing back and forth between activities and four young men? i offered sweetly to stay home with the children but ryan said he wouldn't have fun if i didn't come, so i gave in. just look at the power that man has over me.

i'm glad i went although i am so exhausted i'm nearly delusional. i swear to you, seth asked me if he could please use my iphone to check his portfolio. and i said, "you have a portfolio?" and then he rolled his eyes and tapped his foot impatiently. and i'm glad anyway, even though i got nothing out of conference.

session 1. i can't really hear anything, even though the conference session is being broadcast on temple grounds. that's because seth is howling to get out of the stroller and azeem is making frog noises in his armpit, a talent which peaked in third grade and has rapidly declined in usefulness and entertainment value since then. still, he trucks on. also, kevin is busy yelling, "migra!" which means migration. everyone thinks this is funny. i admit, i laughed, but i don't think it was for the same reasons.

session 2. driving around like our hair is on fire, trying to pick up a pair of pants from michael, a shirt from henry and pollo's backpack. all because i thought my making them a list of what to pack beforehand was too much. well guess what? it wasn't.

session 3. crystal and regis' house. where ava cried, seth cried and i hovered over brand new baby evie and a pan of scrambled eggs. oh, and bacon, which i undercooked. note to self: don't arrange to listen to something with friends you love to talk to. it won't work. i didn't get much out of that session, but i did get to see crystal and regis. i also got to talk to abby, who helped me grate cheese. she has dimples and i am a sucker for dimples.

session 4. ryan has run around like his hair is on fire (again), trying to get tickets together and clothes together for a bunch of teenage boys that ditched us for the kid who brought his playstation 3 to utah. this involved kevin and pollo running around with tickets in their hands. i don't know if any racial slurs were delved at conference, but i wouldn't be surprised. this might be the most politically incorrect weekend i've had in my life.

highlights include:

arul, or "pollo" calling me "jefa" (boss) and using the word constantly. his pronunciation is quick and harsh. non-stop it was: "jefa!"

"que?"

"jefa!"

"que?"

"jefa!"

"QUE?"

"nada."

or how about putting pollo to bed? he wanted to be tucked in like a burrito, given milk and cookies, sung a song, told a story and given a goodnight kiss. oh yeah, and he was certain that azeem wanted all of those things, too. i looked over at azeem and he was shaking his head quickly.

my buddy christian who always answered my questions that started with, "como se dice. . .?"

my new mexican accent! being surrounded by so much mexican accent means that i started speaking with one too. i feel ridiculous. and oddly enough, so hard core.

being in the car with four mexican boys who thought the word "beaner" was a funny thing to shout at other mexicans that they didn't know. this horrified me, because once yelled the offended party turned around to look right at me. this, of course, was found to be HIL-arious.

visiting with my aunt emily, uncle rob and their children, which included my cousin cameron and his wife allison, who is due to have a baby in four weeks. and then, going down to southern utah to visit ryan's grandparents who really are some of the kindest people i know. grandpa was a little confused by the presence of the boys and, upon looking at them said, "they look hawaiian!" about fifteen minutes later, when hearing ryan speak spanish to them, grandpa asked, "you understand spanish?" the boys nodded and grandpa explained, "well i hardly understand that! do they speak much spanish in hawaii?"

yes, confusion abounded, but the phrase, "i love grandpa. he's funny." was heard in abundance. of course, grandma answered this with, "don't tell him that! his ego is through the roof!"

and it is. because this is the story we heard while we were there: grandma worked the ticket booth outside the movie theater and grandpa saw her there every time he went to a movie. he thought she was very pretty. so one night, when his mother was just about to leave for a movie, he told he, "take a good look at the girl in the ticket booth because one day she's going to be your daughter in law."

later, he went to a movie and afterward came out to see grandma sitting on the couch surrounded by a group of boys. one of which, a boy named sterling, was to take her home. as grandpa walked by he said to grandma, "i'll be back at ten to pick you up."

as he walked away, grandma asked, "do you think he means it?" sterling knew grandpa and gathered his coat, knowing that grandpa, indeed, did mean it.

this is when grandpa interjected with, "he left because he knew if he stuck around i'd beat the hell out of him."

so grandpa came back at ten, picked grandma up and took her out.

"where did you go?" i asked.

without blinking, grandpa said, "necking."

three weeks later, they were engaged. three weeks after that, they were married.

and you know what's lovely? they told that story together holding hands.

then we drove home. and ava and seth howled and the boys wrestled each other to death and anytime anyone fell asleep the other messed with him. they tickled his face, threw goldfish crackers down his throat or placed small toys over their eyes. i am so glad i will never be a boy. they are just so strange.

it's good to be home. it's good to know we survived the weekend. and oddly enough, after all of that, i look forward to seeing all those people again.

pictures to follow.

staycation

a new term was coined this summer. staycation. it's where you vacation in your home. yes, that's right. and yes, it really is as exciting and exotic as it seems. this is what my family decided to do this year because we are really as exciting and exotic as we seem. and i loved it. i loved that i didn't have to pay for anything, i didn't have to pack anything, i didn't have to deal with cranky children. other than the fact that i was still in charge of keeping my own house clean, it was a perfect vacation (i mean, staycation) spot.

favorite: chinatown where we ate real chinese food. and ava insisted on eating with her chopsticks because she was sitting by grandpa and he was eating with his chopsticks. this meant that she picked up the food she wanted to eat with her fingers, placed it between her chopsticks and held them tightly closed in her fist where she ate her food as though it were some sort of popsicle.

amanda was my biggest help and she helped me handle hurricane harbor single-parently. this wouldn't have been as big a deal if ava hadn't taken one look at the large splashes the kid zone was making and decided that looked awful. no, not awful. horrible. no good. disgusting. terrifying. i don't know if there are enough words to describe how she felt about the mild looking pirate ship stranded in the middle of 12 inches of chlorinated and filtered water. seth, of course, loved it. amanda (who is short) and i (who is tall) took ava and seth in the lazy rive (or whatever they call it) and amanda held seth and i held ava. this worked out perfectly. because amanda is short she was holding seth close to the water. and he was happy as a clam, splashing and sticking his face in the water, kicking his legs and squealing. because i am tall, ava was hardly in the water. her toes trailed. and that was, at times, too much and she attempted to climb me and wrap her legs around my head.

more mammoth

thse are my in-laws, the whole of them. these are the people ryan came from and this is us in mammoth. it is hard taking pictures of a big group like this. there were so many people! and they didn't know where where to stand or what to wear and they all had different ideas and places they wanted to go. sometimes it was just the lot of us, standing on the side of the road. some of us were holding children, some of us chairs, some of us sunglasses and sweaters and blankets and some us very small princess dresses. and we all stood there and talked about the photoshoot at the top of our lungs until one of us would stand a little taller and shout, "ENOUGH! we're going _______ and we're doing ______!!" and then all would be quiet and we'd move over to where the loudest family member had told us to move.

i appreciate these in-laws. in this family, you take care of each other. you work hard. and you laugh. those in-laws, let me tell you, are hilarious. i am so grateful to know them, so grateful for their hugs and their jokes.

mammoth in pictures

mammoth

ladies and gentlemen, i'm sorry to report that for me, the mammoth trip was cut short. well, me and ava and seth. you can only hear your 3-year-old beg to go home so many times before you just give in and pack it on up. then, of course, there's the time the 3-year-old takes your bed and you end up sleeping on the floor and then she falls out and right on to you.

all i know is, one minute i was sort of sleeping and the next something heavy was on my head and mumbling, "please excuse me,". and of course, then the baby wakes up at four in the morning and surprise! he's so happy to see you! so happy, in fact, that he wants breakfast! and games! and hugs! and stories! and maybe even a song or two? please?

of course, that's not all that happened. a highlight: watching home videos and hearing my husband's high pitched teenage voice and watching him sit in the corner and glower in a rather angsty manner. all while wearing a t-shirt with the sleeves cut off, of course. and then, on the same video, i got to watch danielle talk like a spice girl, flash a peace sign, jut her right hip out as far as it could go (pretty far) and say in her best british accent, "girl power!" or, could i leave out the michael as raptor boy? watching him stalk the living room on his tiptoes, his hands clawed out and held to his chest and screeching? priceless. oh wow.

i haven't laughed that hard in a long, long time.

another highlight: hiking in that beautiful, beautiful place. mammoth is so green! with trees! it just made me realize how brown and flat southern california is. walking around up there, smelling the pine trees was wonderful. of course, the huffing and puffing that came with the alititude was not.

so we hiked and swam and ate delicious mexican food (favorite), went on a six am walk after seth woke up at five and and looked for a bear (great story: ava actually saw one when on a walk without me. i am jealous) and napped. lots of napping. actually, not for me, but for everyone else. turns out that when your kids go to bed about ten and wake up at five the want to take naps in the middle of the day. awesome. not awesome: the surplus amount of sleep does not decrease the moodiness. why not? don't naps = happiness in small children?

i'm grateful for a husband who understands that vacationing is more like hard labor for a mom and who tries to help out as much as he can and then, when it proves too much, sends you home for some sanity. i'm grateful for my bed. after attempting to slumber it out on a less than stellar bunk bed and then floor and then nasty, ancient cushion (that wasn't even long enough), my bed is the best place to go to sleep at night. i'm grateful for a father in law who doesn't care if he's at the public pool and dances like no one is watching. or that he's so relaxed he feels like a noodle and then "noodling" all over the place. that is the best.

pictures to follow.

ps

this is the week i go on vacation. pretty excited! it should be lots of fun, lots of food and lots of family.

so instead of leaving you high and dry, i plan on pleasuring you with my newest obsession (or as jenn and liz would call it: passion) and (are you ready?) hooray for you! you get to view a new picture everyday this week!

well, cheers to that.