much better

ava and cousins

it's amazing what a day wearing pajamas in a dining room table fort with a stack of books can do. i feel so much better.

our weekend was spent in san luis obispo, where my grandpa lives. it was his 80th birthday weekend, so everybody (really, everybody, only one cousin was missing due to his mission in switzerland) was there. that's my grandpa, his wife, eight children, all with spouses (save one) and their children. the smallest family is three. the biggest family is six (children. each). in addition, two cousins are married, one is engaged, there's ava (the lone great-grandchild) and my grandfather's two brother's came out and my grandpa's wife's children came also. we come out to a rather loud and disruptive crew (note: non of this amazes the mormon readers, only the non-mormon readers. my friend mario described dinner at the packard's house as, "a roomful of children who each take turns scooping their dinner out of a barrel.").

ava was in heaven. there were all of these girl cousins who wanted to play with her. they gave her whatever she wanted. they each vied for her attention. so she sat happily, on a round table surrounded by little girls, swinging two balloons in the air and they all told her how cute she was and giggled. you know, my brothers play with her all the time, but their attention wanes. these girls, however, kept her busy almost the entire time. it was awesome. she was returned to us well-fed, blissfully happy and completely exhausted.

so why didn't she sleep AT ALL??? you got me. i barely the meaning of this child.

saturday night was spent mostly in tears (the hysterical kind, and they were hers, not mine. i was surprisingly calm. ryan kept offering to go sleep on the couch. i didn't let him.) and then, finally, at an odd angle between ryan and myself, she slept with her little head pushing him off of his pillow (and subsequently, off the bed) and her little feet jogging nicely in to my back. here's something about ava i learned over the weekend: the child runs in her sleep. in addition to the bed hog, someone else in the house was snoring. i think they'd slept walked and were standing right outside our door because i could hear them LOUD and CLEAR. also, the house was FREEZING. so freezing, i was wearing nearly every warm piece of clothing i'd brought and still shivering. i think i got, at most, four hours of sleep. and that's the generous estimate.

the next morning my cousin cheerfully piped up, "it was so hot last night i got up and turned off the heater!" i nearly impaled her with my cereal spoon. really. but i was distracted by the warm steam spilling from my ears that i forgot to hurt her.

naturally, ryan and i were a bit dazed and grumpy (ryan dazed, me grumpy) the next day. ava was a little sensitive. she cried (high pitched, banshee sort of crying) for nearly the entire ride home. and i was delirious at that point, so i think i took all of her toys away from her. then i gave them all back. and i think i yelled. yeah, i'm pretty sure i did.

we got home and i slept for a good long while, then we put ava to sleep and i went right back to bed. the next morning i felt as though someone had been beating me while i slept.

today, however, i feel great. i've been waking up early and going walking and it has been the best thing i've ever done for myself. i feel so good in the morning! and it almost carries me to the end of the day.

i'm ready to get that little baby out of her crib and give her a hug.