Tuesday, August 18, 2009

teen choice awards

there's been an awful lot of lazy mothering going on around here lately. i'm really excited for this next week because it is the week i wrestle all of those bad habits into submission.

for example: betime. for some reason, it's just easier to let the kids stay up late rather than fight the epic battle of rounding them up, putting diapers on them, brushing their teeth, saying prayers, reading stories, singing songs, tucking them in, kissing them goodnight. . .

i am exhausted by the list. but it doesn't matter. this. week. is. the. week.

last week i did all sorts of things like buying soda. i know. and drinking it. i know. and letting seth eat his breakfast cereal off the floor. i know. and i wasn't really all that into cleaning the house. instead, i took off with my friend heather and went to take pictures of celebrities at the gifting suite for the teen choice awards. heather went early and set up the table with her true birds and bumpits stuff and i came later with lunch (avocado sandiwches and water that had negative ions in it. guess what? that water tastes just like the water with the positive ions in it. bummer. i was hoping a lack of ions was going to lead to something spectactular. like levitating) and my camera. and then they came. in throngs (not to be confused with thongs). and i had no idea who any of them were until CARLTON from fresh prince of bel air came by. and for some reason, i all i wanted to do was giggle and dance the carlton dance which caused me to wonder, WHY DO I REMEMBER THAT DANCE? i mean, i went to college and do i remember half of what i experienced in college? not at all! so why on EARTH am i looking at some short man with a pencil mustache and remembering some really cheesy (and awful) dance he did on a television show when i was a preteen?

so heather and i stood there until someone came up with an expectant look on their face and heather and i would suddenly gow expectant and we'd all just stare at eachother until they said, "HI."

and we'd reply, "HI."

and then we'd wait. for something. like, for example, your name? who you are? do we even care about you? should we give you this bump it so you can walk around with a really funny looking fake bump on the back of your head?

my favorite was a girl who walked up and said, "HI. I'M ________ from ________." and i honestly had no idea what she was talking about. so i just sort of stood there, awkwardly holding my camera in one hand and wondering how i respond.

do i say, "good for you"? or "hi. i'm miriam from miriam's life."

good thing heather was there. she immediately became enthusiastic and cheered this girl on, asking her about her character and encouraging her in the way of bump its. then this girl left and, had i not known better, i would have thought them long lost friends. so i said, "who was that?" and heather shrugged and said, "i don't know." it was a good lesson to learn. i think i improved from there on out.

that girl was really cute, by the way. i just have no idea what to say to people who introduce themselves in a way that screams, PERHAPS YOU'VE HEARD OF ME?

so i spent an afternoon childless and meeting the entire cast of hannah montana (except for the hannah montana character herself) and watching the best boy band in the world, WOW do their brightly colored polo shirt thing and feeling slightly glamorous, even though nothing glamorous actually happened. i mean, did i mention carlton from fresh prince of bel air? perhaps it was just the high of not having something clinging to my pant leg. i mean, that feeling that at any moment i might be able to walk about the room without having to detach myself from something rather mollusk-like in its attachments? liberating.

then i went home and changed seths poopy diaper and wrestled ava into pajamas, prayers and songs and put both of them to bed far later than i should have. funny thing about being amongst all of those expectant people is the fact that it made me miss the other expectanct people in my life. i mean, i practically walked in the door to find ava with a list of expectations. for example, feed me was written down, oh, about thirty times. of course, i fed her. then i hugged her tightly and demanded that she stop eating her hair. because that's gross.

i like having the opportunity to miss the little people. i also like spending time in awkward conversations where the person speaking thinks i'm really impressed with them while meanwhile my mind is racing as i struggle to figure out what the hell she's talking about. but also, and this really needs mentioning, i really love spending time with heather. when we saw who we deduced to be barry bonds wife, we stuck our heads together, widened our eyes and just as heather began what i can only imagine was some juicy tidbit about mrs. bonds, i interrupted her to whisper and dramatically gesture that barry's daughter was right behind her. and then heather closed her mouth, widened her eyes a bit more, so i could widen mine in return and wonder for the rest of my life what she was going to say. i'll bet it was good. but i gave it up for heather! i am such a good friend.

oh, and that band WOW? wow. really, wow. look 'em up. (hint: enter the keywords WOW boy band because i just learned that wow stands for world of warcraft and guess what? there's like a million world of warcraft videos out there. i know.)

also, i think it's about time i subscribed to us weekly because who knows how many celebrities i've bumped into and instead of gasping and knowing what kind of toothpaste they use, i wonder why in the heck this person has a freaking entourage and how can i get rid of them?


Hernan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Hernan said...

That's a great experience! Why can't you name them?
And I think I know personally that look in which you seemed interested in what I was saying... and I was actually judging you because you looked like you were understanding what I was saying. What I was thinking was "I can't believe she is still interested in what I am saying... I don't even know what the hell I am talking about!"

Crystal said...

You and Hernan both wrote "hell." *snicker*

pillpotblankies said...

Can I just say that I constantly miss the little ones in my life as well, and I am so glad that you are Miriam from "Miriam's World." I love you for that alone.