you know what i mean, it's practically the center of the internet. and i really have a strong love-hate thing with it. i love the opportunity to see everyone and "catch up" with whatever they're putting out there, but i hate the way it's like this big empty pit and i can just open the door and heave whatever time i had that afternoon right into it. so i avoid it as much as i can. except the other day i was on and i noticed a photographer i've been following offer a 6-month mentorship for free. all you had to do was write a little essay of sorts telling her why she should pick you. so i wrote one. i figured i'd give it a shot.
well guess what? she picked me. so, after some extreme fist pumping and white-girl booty shaking (improved slightly due to the bellydancing classes i've been taking), i sat down and did the first thing she asked me to do: take a personality test.
i used to think personality tests were really lame until ryan went to some training thing for work and took one and came home and showed me the results. at first i only really glanced at the results until i read, "this type of personality can sometimes be frustrating due to the fact that they like to think about things so long" and then i was like, DUDE. YOUR PERSONALITY TEST JUST DESCRIBED YOU TO ME. and i kept reading and it said, "when dealing with this type of personality it helps to let them think things through and come to their own conclusions" and THEN it added, "this type of personality tends to be very meticulous. this can frustrate the partners of this personality type. it is best to encourage them gently to stop thinking and take action" and then when ryan came into the room i was weeping softly and hugging the book and he asked what was wrong and i was all, this BOOK is like the manual that you never came with! no one understands the frustrations that i experienced when buying a washing machine with you like this book does. NO ONE COULD POSSIBLY KNOW HOW AWFUL IT IS TO SIT DOWN AND DO OUR FINANCES WITH YOU EVERY WEEK LIKE THIS BOOK CAN!!
seriously, let me desrcibe a secenario to you: we're going to run errands on a saturday morning. i want to go to target to get some batteries and an iphone cover, the bank to deposit some checks, the drycleaners to get ryan's work clothes and the gap for a white polo shirt for seth. we get in the car. and then, we sit there. why? BECAUSE RYAN WANTS TO PLOT OUT OUR DRIVE THAT'S WHY. the man CRAVES efficiency. and i just want to get our errands done so we can be done with it and move on to the fun stuff.
"but don't you see?" ryan says (and i swear he said the next part), "IT'S FUN TO BE EFFICIENT."
and then i pretend to be dead. because that is the best coping mechanism i have been able to think of so far.
so you can bet i kept that notebook that was filled with ryan's personality. and sometimes, when all hope is lost, i slink over to the bookshelf, bring it down and describe how ryan made me categorize and sub-categorize my latest receipt from the grocery store and i was like, are you serious? and he was like, HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP OUR FINANCES IN ORDER, WOMAN? (plus, don't you remember that efficiency is FUN?)
and that notebook is like, DUDE, I KNOW.
so i show ryan my personality and he read it and his eyes got wide and he was all, THAT'S WHY! and then he heaved a great sigh of relief, held me at arm's length and told me that i was a good person.
well, thank goodness for that. i only hope my ways are not frustrating enough for him that i have to walk in and find him holding the computer screen and weeping softly, exclaiming about how this computer understands him better than any computer has ever understood him. because if you've been reading this blog for any amount of time, you can only guess what that poor man has to put up with on a daily basis (example: CHICKENS IN OUR BACKYARD). so let me add now, here, publicly for ALL to see: i LOVE him. i do. more than anyone will ever love him. really.
this mentee-ship is going to be amazing. it's more than helping with the selection of business cards it's someone holding your hand and asking you, why do you want to be a photographer? and you sitting there thinking about it until your head hurts and then saying, I DON'T KNOW and then they say, wrong answer. try again.
lesson 1: i am an ENFP, or an Extroverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving. and, after reading my personality description i can only conclude this one thing: i am AWESOME. also, no wonder i have, as late, been completely bored with the thought of cleaning the house ONE MORE freakin' time. it's my personality. it can't be stopped.