a married moment

do you ever have those moments with your spouse when you're trying to express your thoughts on a serious topic and they just won't have it and make jokes at every turn?

dude. ryan does that ALL THE TIME.

and this morning i told him, "i've had it with you."

and he said, "really? you've reached the end of your rope?" except he didn't sound concerned, he sounded interested. like this topic is way more fun than that other one she was talking about!

"yes," I said, "i have."

"well, lady, let me give you a piece of advice," he said, "when you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on."

and then i chased him with a wooden spoon.

it's called compromise. and guilt.

me: so what are we going to do tonight?

ryan: we should watch marley and me.


me: (with a groan and a whine) i don't want to watch that movie!

ryan: we have to. kevin gave it to us. he's going to keep asking us if we've watched it yet.


me: yeah. i don't want to watch a movie where i cry over a dumb animal that isn't even mine. i hate that. we could watch butch cassidey and the sundance kid instead. 


ryan: yeah. or that one with russel crowe.


me: yeah. or my sister's keeper.


ryan: yeah. or not. i'll go get marley and me started. try not to fall asleep.

why i stink at dieting

me: try this. it's a 90 calorie diet-y kind of cereal bar.

ryan: after telling me that, why on earth would i try it?

me: because! it's actually good.

ryan: actually, it's not bad. but i have a 300 calorie minimum for snack foods.

me: i do too. that's why i eat three at a time.

it's all about love.

then

ryan and i dated about five (and a half!) months before we got engaged. then we got married eleven weeks after that. when we're being generous, we say we dated for six months and were engaged for two. that's eight months total (fast!)

"dude," my friend susanna told me, "that's either so right it's good, or so bad it's stupid."

so far, it's not stupid.

happy five years, manly.

now

christmas

i showed ryan this picture and he didn't say anything for a minute. then he said, 'i think i don't like this picture as much as you do.'

whatever.

skirball and a date

saturday morning began the way it always begins: pancakes, disco music and a list of things we need to get done. i, of course, had a huge list and ryan, of course, had a huge list. breakfast ended and as "boogie wonderland" played in the background we stared grimly at the yellow legal pad we'd scribbled all over.

"i want to go to the skirball instead," i said.

ryan hopped up. "okay," he said.

and that's what we did. we went to the skirball, where ava is just the right age for the set up they have (a noah's ark with animals to play with and a little jungle gym that, despite the fact that it terrified both kids, was brilliant), and we played all day. it was absolutely the best. and then, as if that wasn't enough, ryan came up with the brilliant idea of going out that night for dinner. so he called his mom and started talking about a plan. like, maybe we could go to dinner about five? and we'll probably get home around ten or so?

"ryan," i said to him when he hung up, "what on earth are we going to do for FIVE HOURS?"

he shrugged, "maybe i just want to hang out with my wife, okay? you got a problem with that?"

"for five hours?"

we didn't make it the whole five hours, but we did sit at the table at the restaurant long after our food was consumed and talked. it is SO nice to talk to ryan withOUT the little voice piping up in the background, "EXCUSEMEMOMMYEXCUSEMEMOMMYEXCUSEMEMOMMY".

heaven. as much as i love the little fuzzy heads who climb into bed with us every morning, as much as they enhance my love for ryan,  the fact remains that i didn't marry him just because i thought he'd make a great dad. i married him because of all of the other aspects of him, the thinker, the goofball, the historian, the salesman, the romantic--and i love it when i can sit down and focus on all the other ryans. he's (they?) (are) my favorite.

engaging

i'm going to be honest: these two aren't engaged. they're married. and i bribed them to pose for me with a family picture. they have a little boy named liam who is cute! cute! CUTE! i'll post those another time. this time, i want to focus on this, the most realistic of engagement sessions.

"if you could do the wedding thing all over again, what would you do differently?" i asked.

both: "we would've kept the money."

yeah. it's amazing how much all that stuff matters one second and the next, it's all just silly.