this last week ava's language abilities have greatly developed. apparently, not fast enough for ryan. the other night at the park he said, "can you believe it took her two whole years just to say some of these things?"
yes, he's going to be one of those parents.
it's as though in the last week ava's stopped chewing all those gummy bears and has finally swallowed them. her mouth is opening wider when she talks, there isn't as much saliva and, eureka, i can understand her! the feeling is grand.
even her MOMMYMOMMYMOMMYMOMMYMOMMY!!! has changed into something more sophisticated. now she's saying, maMA!maMA!maMA!maMA!maMA! as though she were french. perhaps madeline's been giving her lessons.
when she calls me by my french name, i feel a little bewildered by the change. what was wrong with mommy? why must she constantly be growing and changing and improving on what we had? i look at this little body that is just so full of life and besides from feeling an overwhelming urge to both squish her and eat her, i feel my heart cry out, when will she just stop growing?
as i tend my tomato plants, i find myself relating the soil they're rooted in. the soil just lays there, flat and alone and watches helplessly as the plants grow away from it towards the sun.
my greatest joy is the growth of my own little flower, yet it is also my deepest heartache.