Wednesday, July 9, 2008


this last week ava's language abilities have greatly developed. apparently, not fast enough for ryan. the other night at the park he said, "can you believe it took her two whole years just to say some of these things?"

yes, he's going to be one of those parents.

it's as though in the last week ava's stopped chewing all those gummy bears and has finally swallowed them. her mouth is opening wider when she talks, there isn't as much saliva and, eureka, i can understand her! the feeling is grand.

even her MOMMYMOMMYMOMMYMOMMYMOMMY!!! has changed into something more sophisticated. now she's saying, maMA!maMA!maMA!maMA!maMA! as though she were french. perhaps madeline's been giving her lessons.

when she calls me by my french name, i feel a little bewildered by the change. what was wrong with mommy? why must she constantly be growing and changing and improving on what we had? i look at this little body that is just so full of life and besides from feeling an overwhelming urge to both squish her and eat her, i feel my heart cry out, when will she just stop growing?

as i tend my tomato plants, i find myself relating the soil they're rooted in. the soil just lays there, flat and alone and watches helplessly as the plants grow away from it towards the sun.

my greatest joy is the growth of my own little flower, yet it is also my deepest heartache.


Hernan said...

Never (I heard)

Erica said...

how come when we love something or find it absolutely adorable our first instinct and primary desire is to squish it and eat it? Its kind of weird.

Annie said...

Amen, sister. I've been doing that, too, with my oldest this week. He's started calling me Mom instead of Mommy and it's breaking my heart a little.

Fabulous photo, by the way.

Freckles said...

I am absolutely in love with that photo!! I keep coming back all day just to gaze at it! You captured her so well, I love the motion and that it is still so soft! I feel like I am right there.

It is sad to watch them grow, I don't want Natalie to grow anymore either!

carol said...

Your such a poet. That last line is beautiful

redstarmama said...

Great photo! And amen to the sadness of growth. I remember being so angry and heartbroken when Declan was born and I realized he wouldn't stay that tiny forever. But also amen to the joy of it. Every new word Greer says makes me laugh with happiness.

Liz said...

I love, love, love that picture of Ava. It's perfect. That could be framed and put in anyone's house with a little girl! It's a timeless picture and captures so much emotion and life. Bravo!! I don't even have any girls and I would put that up on my walls. :)

Anders is starting to refuse my help lately. It makes me sad. I hate it when they become so independent that you can almost physically feel them pushing you away. :(