the joy of having me for a wife

when ava was just a wee fetus and she began kicking me, i'd make ryan drop whatever he was doing and run over to place a hand on my stomach and wait. of course, by then, the butterflies in my stomach that i called kicks, were over. ryan was willing to admit defeat, but i'd make him stay there, hand pressed, for long moments. as time went on, he became more resistant to my demands that he HURRY! THE BABY IS KICKING! until it got to the point he flat out refused to drop whatever it is was that he was doing (i think getting dressed) and come lay hand to my belly. so i became wretched pregnant wife in order to get what i wanted. I told him that this was his CHILD and how was i going to raise a CHILD with a man who didn't even want to enjoy the miracle of her ever precious KICK??? i may have cried. or glared. i can't remember, but i can guarantee that i did one. so with a sigh, a probably a shirt that was only half on, ryan rolled his eyes and laid hand on ava's proposed kick. and she kicked. as if to say, "HOW DARE YOU DOUBT I KICK!"

i take this away from that experience: ryan should always listen to me. and, ava had a lot more sass in the womb than i had first supposed and should not be surprised when now she says no in all capital letters with several exclamation points at the end in response to questions like, "do you want a snack?"
sometimes i feel like i should assure her that i'm not trying to kill her, really.