the crying girl

now that i have sam's brown eyes staring at me as soon as my alarm goes off, i've been getting a lot more exercise.

which leads me to a bit of a tangent (hooray for you!): my whole adult life i've been making to-do lists at the start of the day. this helps me bring some structure to my day.

day 1:
exercise for 30 minutes
read my scriptures
personal prayer

day 2:
exercise for 30 minutes!
read scriptures!
pray!

day 3:
EXERCISE
READ SCRIPTURES
PRAY

day 4:
EXERCISE!!!
READ SCRIPTURES!!!
PRAY!!!

have i mentioned that i've been honing my skills as a procrastinator? well, i have. and, if you read those lists, you'll see that i am quite good.

so now when my alarm goes off, sam hops out of his bed, which is right next to me and sniffs the covers and wags his tail so that it whacks the nightstand and i open my eyes and he grins and GUESS WHAT??? i get out of bed.

do you hear that? i am exercising regularly! it's amazing! i mean, i've had spurts where i do it, and it's not like all i do is sit on the couch, because when you have kids that's just not something they stand for, but i, miriam, am exercising WITHOUT my children and without a gym membership bill to guilt me into it.

i know, i'm amazing.

i guess all this time i've just needed a dog. now if i could just find something that makes sure i get my scripture studying and personal praying in too, i think i'll have mastered life. and then what will i do? i don't know. maybe raise carrier pigeons for the greater good.

i digress. anyway, while i walk, i listen to a podcast called this american life, which is a radio program on npr that talks about various things. like, fear of sleep. or contracts. or being TORTURED in iran by the police. so, as i walk along, i listen to some things amusing, but most things sobering and it occurred to me the other day, as i walked next to a guy out for a bike ride who'd stopped to let us pass that i must look like a crazy person. because i was listening to a girl talk about her parent's divorce contract and what it meant to her and i was crying. and then, just yesterday, i walked by a guy getting ready to mow his lawn and i was laughing because this one guy has the funniest sleep disorder stories i've ever heard. and then, this morning, as i was listening to that guy talk about being tortured in iran, i walked past this woman and she gave me a really sympathetic smile.

this is not going to do much for our reputation in this neighborhood. but it is so, so fascinating.