one week

this week we've been home a lot (due to the baby and all). we've done a lot of coloring, walks, dancing like ballerinas in the living room and book reading. and breastfeeding. a lot of breastfeeding.
so, on our official one week anniversary of being home, i have a few thoughts i'd like to share:

1. my friend dana was totally right: having two children is not harder, it's just more work (some of you may consider that to be harder, but i take physical labor over emotional labor any day). as a result, many emails have gone unanswered, many phone calls have been ignored and all sorts of things that need doing have gone undone. for example: there is a dead tomato plant on my porch. and it's been there since i went to the hospital and ryan forgot to water it. and that was a week and a half ago. i hate the sight of that tomato plant. and i miss the tomatoes. so does ryan.

2. i am way better at being a mom to seth than i was to ava (for that i apologize, ava). ava made me so nervous! i could barely shower as a new mother. and this morning? this morning i awoke and hopped in the shower just like that. it didn't occur to me that seth might awaken or be stolen or choke on something or attempt to climb the bookshelf which would fall on top of him and crush him to death. i am much less morbid this time around (thus the better mothering).

3. breastfeeding is a sucess. it always feels good to conquer something hard. it is akin to delivering ava naturally. i am empowered by my body's natural ability to mother, although i know i spend way more time than i ought to thinking over seth's latch. i'm going to end on that note because i know i have a few male readers and i don't want to get gory. i will add this: breastfeeding could be the most thirst inducing activity i've ever engaged in. dude, if you only knew.

4. ava is bored. to be honest, so am i. sitting in the house all day long is not fun. but seth is too little to be out and about and so, for his sake, we sit at home like the two children in the cat in the hat, staring out the window while it rains, too bored to think of anything to do inside. i call my mother almost daily and plead, "come over." as soon as that six weeks is up, we are out of here! i already have a list of things we're going to do (like the zoo and the barnes & noble storytime).

5. going places with two children isn't as bad as i thought it would be. it helps that one is contained. so aside from the fact that i feel as though i have packed all of my personal belongings into my diaper bag, we are more mobile than i had anticipated. i'm currently on the lookout for another diaper bag that isn't so purse-like and is more like a messenger bag, but with all of the pockets. i love the pockets in a diaper bag.seth is already bigger. this is the worst part of parenting: i feel like i'm busy with taking care of my children and then at the end of the day, when i'm exhausted and everyone's in bed, i'll think of a little thing that ava did (like when she ran a little too fast and startled seth and immediately said, "sorry." and kissed his head) or a little thing that seth did (like the big subconcious smile he flashed right as i slipped him into his cradle) and i realize that they're changing everyday and slipping out of their present forms and into future ones. and sure, i'm going to love the future ones just as much as the present ones (maybe more), but present forms become past forms and are never seen again.
so seth is moving into future forms, wiggling with a slightly better wiggle, his eyes are growing lighter and his baby acne is slowly taking over the planet. and with each day, i see more and more ryan in his little face.
and ava's discovered two things: the first is that ballerinas are almost as cool as princesses. she spends about two hours a day spinning in a haphazard way with arms out in the living room. i watch and anticipate a head concusion. my mom comes over and tries really hard not to look like she's enjoying herself to much. as soon as you look like you're enjoying yourself ava will shout at you, "DON'T!" and refuse to dance anymore.

the second discovery is band-aids. they are the coolest accessory by far (better than the crown). ava wants one at all times of the day. she puts it on various "owies" until it's disgusting and without any stickiness left. then i have to distract her so i can throw it away. then she'll notice it's gone and ask for another (incessantly) while i explain that band-aids are for owies. then she goes and hurts herself so she can have one (i'm rethinking that strategy).
so there you are: a week of staying home and nursing a newborn while simultaneously attempting to keep my 2-year-old under control. with my legs. it is awesome.