Tuesday, May 20, 2008

review review

the review reception was lovely. fabulous. very nerve-wracking. i didn't know that this was the way it would be, but i led the thing (around. by the nose). hart got up and spoke a little, tracy got up and spoke a little and then i got up and spoke (i have no idea how long, i think i slipped in to a coma where my body still stands and speaks) and then conducted and closed.

this has been such a journey for me. and the funny thing is, i've only talked about it to a couple people because it's been so difficult to stick words to. i think 'i've learned so much' but just what it is that i've learned, i'm not a hundred percent sure of.

this i know:
i can do this. i can talk about fiction and poetry and edit it all and i can do it all very well. i forgot that i had this talent and that it was also a passion of mine. i forgot that a good poem could make me feel the world well up in my chest and come out through tears in my eyes. that there are FEELINGS and THOUGHTS evoked by a art. i love art, i just remembered.

i love people with opinions. even if they don't match mine. even if i hate them. i love that people think things through in their own way and then express it.

i am ava's mother and that is my most consuming "position" right now. i'm also ryan's wife. and the house cleaner, grocery-buyer, cook, etc. but i am also just me, the simple quiet kind of me that can write and do it well and sing and read and understand the things that i am doing. i've known this all along, but i guess i didn't realize how much of that part of me there actually was. it's there, a lot of it.

you know, that's only the top layer. there's more: one part a spiritual part, not just a self part. there is something so deeply spiritual when it comes to books and poems. it's not just a past time, it's not just something nice to look at or think of. i don't fully understand that part yet (perhaps i never will).

and all in all, i'm grateful. i'm grateful to my mother-in-law for watching ava while i went off every tuesday afternoon to do this, i'm grateful to my mom and dad for seeing more than just a bookworm and helping me get an early start on good literature and writing techniques (for a starter). i'm grateful that i married a man who, in the beginning, wanted this for me more than i did. he just knew how good it would be, i think. and of course, hart and tracy for giving me the responsibility.

3 comments:

The Nurse said...

yay i think that is amazing that you can do that. it is definitely a talent because not everyone has it... especially me.
but i think it is amazing that you are so engaged in literature. i always wished i was but i always find something else to do.
anyway- good job miriam!

Freckles said...

Congrats on your success! You are talented with words and there is a lot of power in that! I wish I could speak and write more eloquently and evoke more feeling. Such a useful talent, I must say!

Liz said...

That's awesome Miriam. I'm glad your journey has led to a little self-discovery. It's so nice to discover abilities or just have them reaffirmed, and to be able to express yourself and feel validation. Anyway, I've always enjoyed reading your posts. You definitely have an amazing talent in writing. And I'll definitely take you up on your editing offer if I ever attempt to write my book! :) Congrats on finishing your review!!