Tuesday, February 2, 2010

a long, awkward pause

so teenagers.

its a whole other ballgame with that lot. a ballgame that i've suddenly been plunked right into-- the middle of the seventh inning stretch (that is, if this game is baseball. i have yet to figure that part out. maybe it's just half time? making it football?). i became aware of this new ballgame while trying to understand what kevin's grades might be in school. i thought i just might ask him and then i'd know. all of your mothers of teenagers out there? are you laughing hysterically? can you even read this through your tears? can you believe the amount of innocence i showed? do i have another thing coming or what?

yeah, i know.

something i notice kevin does when he's not all that comfortable with the conversation topic (this is a conversation topic that is about anything serious or responsible): he flops. it's like he's a wet noodle. one minute he's sitting upright and we're all laughing and having a great time, the next he's on the floor and we have to keep checking for a pulse.

"so kevin, what are your grades?" i ask.

flop. pause. finally, "uuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhh. . .i don't know."

"okay, how many classes are you taking?" i ask.

pause. "uuuuuuhhhhhhh. . ." i detect a slight motion underneath his left eye. "uuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh. . .six?"

"how many A's?"

pause. another pause. ANOTHER PAUSE. "none."

"well, that wasn't so hard."

kevin opens his eyes and lifts his head to look at me, "huh?" he asks. i realize he's only talking to me now because i've deviated from the original topic and he's hopeful that we can start talking about twilight or mountain biking or kanye west. well, he's wrong. i remember exactly what we were just talking about and not only that, i'm going to learn from my mistakes. never again will i point out how ridiculous he's being until after the fact.

"never mind. how many B's?"

flop. pause. "uuuuhhhhhhhh. . .one."

"okay good! how many C's?"

i'll spare you the rest of the conversation. just know that it involved long pauses and a lot of flopping.

what am i to do with this kid?

3 comments:

Amber Marie said...

you watch the bachelor? doesn't it just make you want to...scream??

i mean really, was the women's rights movement just so that we could watch other women throw themselves at men and try their hardest to get his attention? It is so pathetic and devastating. Entertaining, yes. But really, how sad are some of those girls?

miriam said...

of course! and, not only that, it doesn't work. and i don't need to know any statstics to tell you that. there's just no way.

i watch it when i need something to watch when i fold the laundry and i can't find anything else. pathetic, i know.

Jessie said...

sounds like you'll have a head start (aka be the smartest mom on the block) by the time your own kiddos reach 14! hang in there. I think he needs you.